


king of hearts

by mochilix



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Tragedy, I am so sorry, M/M, They all die, but yes it is one, didn't mean to turn this to a tragedy, everything's a mess, king-peasant trope, this is very painful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochilix/pseuds/mochilix
Summary: yongbok used to be a nobody in the kingdom of the forth king, christopher. what are the odds, that they come together and fall apart, again and again, but alas, they were not chosen by the moon.[i don't mean any disrespect to any religion by writing this, so please don't come at me].
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	king of hearts

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i tried something different (i mean i failed but whatever) AND I DON'T DO TRAGEDY but i guess it was the most suitable and realistic ending. written in old english literary style, and the sentences are weird i swear. 
> 
> but it's just chan and felix being madly in love.

_then what?_

_then what happens?_

_what if i gouge out my eyes, my vision for your love, for your touch of hatred, my beloved?_

_would you love me?_

> **_do everything in love._ **
> 
> **_corinthians 16:14_ **

  
  


his eyes searched the empty streets of his hometown. where was it? was it last night that he kissed him? he still remembered his first kiss, and his last too. had been his love forevermore, when their lips touched for one night, he was reminded. they weren't lovers, but rivals were not they, either. _then_? 

steps and more steps towards his heart, but never he found the safe haven. _why are you cold? why don't you love? why don't you let me in?_ blood on his skin, as cold as the snow on his golden panels, they marr him in beautiful streams of red, of love. not had been a single day, and yet his foolish heart craved love. each passing second and the next. 

_lie._ he said, with half-open grey orbs, the hurt dancing in the most lashes. webbed like a fly in his love, but letting go at the same time. he did not love him. 

his body. that was all he could offer, because he did not ask for profuse confessions of futile love. he touched him like a flower in rain, kissing, breathing in his body, because the next night, he shall not come. _should not_. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


the city was empty with false promises, unloved parchments. who was he with a heart of love? he will not– _should not_ –survive. 

foreign to him. the words of a lover. what tells the fly to run away? _no one_. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


no more could his legs take him. his lover's abode? it was nothing, but a dream. a nightmare even. a fly goes to the flame. as well as he.

chandeliers. burnt candles, there was no warmth in his heart, and nor his room. scattered parchments, unloved slashes on the rich walls. 

calls for love, gives who? 

no one.

he asked. lovers don't. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_say my name._

_christoper._

_yours too._

_felix._

cold shivers than the waters he drowned in. his king was colder than him. he oped his lips. 

_yongbok_. 

he kissed him. broken, but alive only by his touch. he broke to build, build to break them. over and yet over again. countless words but never one of love. 

_shall we love?_

_no, christopher. shall only touch. shall breathe your name, on my tongue it shall never die. but love? never._

smiles were not given easy. he gives in the moonlight when no one shall see. no witnesses. he killed, but slowly. pain was something he should feel running through his veins. hearts of stone. _king of hearts_. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


ruined, but breathing. knew not his name, but his king's, his lover's. what use a name when he dies with his lover's name leaving his lips? a futile wish. only a wish. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


he ran. the cold stones welcoming his skin. ever bruise, a cut in his skin, but not his heart. did he hold a heart? if so, then where? if so, why did it not beat when he scattered lifeless on the streets? 

_tell me you love, i shall let go. your painful life shall be over._

he never told. he loved not. pain was only relative, but love was not. love was not as easy as his lover discarded them. he could never. he stayed, in pain. but letting go, never. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_kiss me._

_say my name._

_christoper._

what was love? he knew not of. shall never know. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_king of hearts, he was not. he knew not of hearts, but death._

  
  


* * *

  
  


his feet were not heavy, neither his eyes. sleep came easy in darker nights when death was even easier. but he did not kill, he loved. 

_kill me_ , said he. he did not. he would not. just like he let his pigeons live, he let him live, and loved him not. not the pigeons, the man. 

he dreamt of vivid nightmares, slashing his heart open, because his love knew no bounds of ever stopping. but only when his dead heart beat no more. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


his hands clasped against his voice. he couldn't breathe, he did not ask for mercy.

dying in his lover's hands. what happiness more than this?

he did not kill. he let him live, in his own cage of near death salvation. 

✦

**_place me like a seal over your heart,_ **

**_like a seal on your arm;_ **

**_for love is as strong as death,_ **

**_its jealousy unyielding as the grave._ **

**_it burns like blazing fire,_ **

**_like a mighty flame._ **

**_song of songs 8:6_ **

✦

_kill me_. begged he, yet again. different nights however not different words. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


the prison was for criminals like his parents, not him. yet he was dying—not in his lover's hands, but of some other male official he never saw.

stood aside his king, cold like the stone wall and uttering stern sense into him. 

_cry. say my name and cry._

_christoper_. but he did not cry.

his head was slapped, by the official. his king sneered, his sword touching his spine. 

_i shall not kill you. but you will die. loving me. and only me._

  
  


* * *

  
  


the night their bodies touch again. 

_tell me you love._

_never._

his hands roamed the exposed skin of his body, and to the unexposed intricacies, he gave his kisses. not love, christopher, never love.

_look in the mirror, never love._

his hands remained over his body, the cold now a foreign thought. what was cold in his lover's hands? his lover pried on him, opened him up like no other—man or woman, and dived into him. did he let? yes, what happiness more than this? 

but love? _never love._

  
  


* * *

  
  


he had his eyes open in the ray of torchlight blazing at his face. night or day was never clear in his dungeons. only his king's face blazed in the flakey light. 

_would you kill?_

the king of hearts. christopher. 

_i do not wish to kill, but would you love then?_

_i do not. never. never love, christopher._

his eyes found the tears easier than the nightmares, but they always forget the order. then again, what happiness more than this? clenched in his heartless palms, his heart, but did it love? no, never love. 

the king of death. christopher. 

he died each day, more on the nights than the mornings. the nights when christoper made profuse attempts to love him. one word of love, and he shall die. no one with a heart if love shall survive this city of bones.

but what happiness than dying in your lover's kiss? _what happiness more than this?_

  
  


* * *

  
  


he woke up the next day to blood. 

his? no. _his lover's?_ his eyes pop like a dandelion, searching, beating heart like a prey in escape. his lover's? 

the official's lifeless bodies lie before him. those who touched him.

_oh, christopher._

no sound, welcomed with silent breaths to satiate his heart. where was his lover? purpose in living there was not, if his death didn't happen in his lovers hands. taking in the passion, hateful be it, directed towards him. his lover. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_say you love me._

he stopped at once. faltering, removed the folded knees from his chest. 

_christopher_. 

_say. drown me. your love is my salvation, say you love me. i shall let you go._

but what about the foolish boy? he did not wish to leave. fine it was, lying his heart, but staying at least. if he could stay, he wouldn't say he loved. he did not. he wished to stay.

_i do not._

the slithering flames of the dungeon torch flickered from the long sigh. 

_you could leave. leave the palace._

the boy should not speak. let his king speak his mind, but he should not. yet his heart, more foolish than him, spoke up. a fool.

_but not you._

a silence.

  
  


* * *

  
  


he did not see of him the next day. the officials refilled the oils, the torches started burning again. he did not come. _his king, did not._

he did not cry. they were not lovers. then why, his heart hurt like he was in love? like pebbled stones, his heart soared towards the soar, where was the ocean?

  
  


* * *

  
  


_yongbok_. 

the king wrote. the discarded parchments scattered on the floor, each with the name of his beloved. 

_yongbok_.

insane, he was. was it yet possible? just like death's, it happened without him knowing.

_yongbok_. 

the ink splotches on the textured surface, was it his heart?

_yongbok_.

_words of love_ . so futile. _of desire_ , _of bodies._ only bodies? that they were, only bodies coming together. then why did it hurt? 

_yongbok_. 

it was not more. love was something he did not accept. then why? in his kingdom of war, who was he, daring to love? why indeed? 

_yongbok_. 

yes. he was insane indeed. love, was dangerous. 

the king, was foolish. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_greed. lust. gluttony. wrath._

he was a sinner. the king was a sinner. he cared not. _was loving a sin?_ was being greedy for his lover a sin? was lusting, to the point where it drove him to insane, was he a sinner? 

✦

**_therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned._ **

**_romans 5:12_ **

✦

his prisoner, was breathing the damp air of the underground dungeon. why did it scar him?

  
  


* * *

  
  


_the king calls for you._

sneer. the prisoner was used to it. his king, the villagers, his parents. everyone. he knew it better than anyone. 

he walked, with unstable steps. the court. his king.

_christopher_. 

he was beautiful. his king, adorned with the royal attire, the crown not needed to prove his entity. he was the king of his heart. 

a subtle murmur arose in the court. _he who dared to call the king by his name, shall be guillotined. the peasant. the boy with a heart._

wrath flashed in his king's eyes. was he the one who saw? 

_silence_. 

the court felt silent. 

_come closer_. 

the official pushed him, he stumbled on the way. his king. 

he knelt, head bowing. 

_yongbok_. 

what happiness more than his lover's voice? what happiness more than him speaking his name? 

_yongbok_. 

no trace of anger, or wrath. he fell on his knees before the king. the royal carpet was not enough to hold his tears. 

_king, oh my king._

no one heard. for his king's ears, it was. his king crumpled the royal cape. why did his voice come not? why did he suffocate? 

_take him to my private chambers. i shall punish him by my own hands._

the court burst in a cruel applause.

**_long live the king._ **

  
  


* * *

  
  


dizzy feet. the chandelier not enough to light up the humongous room. the sweet smell most likely to intoxicate him. it worked, though not quite well. 

he was scattered on the bed. shall his king punish him? what wrongs, to love, to love no other but the king himself. but he did not speak his heart. then, _why?_

  
  


* * *

  
  


christopher came. the guards gave way to the royalty, bowing before he dismissed them. 

him and him. alone.

was death near? was he to die in his king's hands? his lover, his beloved. 

_yongbok_. 

the king said no more. but why did his boy cry like a fool? why his own eyes were not dry anymore? 

_fingers_. strange touches decorated his tear-stained cheeks. why did his king touch him like that? the fingertips wiped away the threatening drops of his lashes. why did his king touch him like that? lovers they were not after all. 

_yongbok_. 

more tears. suffocation. his heart did not stop. 

_king_. 

said he.

_my king. my beloved king._

  
  


* * *

  
  


bodies. but not just mere bodies. somewhere, there was a touch of love. 

_say my name._

lips touched his neck, dived in his fragrance, pounced on his chest. every unexplored corner, the man explored them with his greatest care. wiped away his tears every time they adorned his freckled cheeks. 

_my king._

what was love? was it dying for your beloved? was it living for your beloved? was it being one with your beloved? _what was love?_

_love_. 

his heart missed a beat. 

_love me. say, yongbok. say you love me._

he cried. buried in his king's body, he cried. 

tears not come when his king scarred him, but dear lord, why come it when his king loved? no more could his fragile heart bear. 

✦

**_let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for i have put my trust in you. show me the way i should go, for to you, i entrust my life._ ** ********

**_psalms 143:8_ **

✦

_this unfortunate prisoner has given you his heart. what more happiness my king? tear it to pieces, but what happiness more than yours?_

he was not allowed to speak of love. yet, why? 

_what happiness more than loving you? this body, this soul, i have devoted. all to you, my king. my beloved king._

bodies embraced, like lovers. his king loved him. he was on the edge of insane, biting, kissing his skin like a mad man. _dangerously_ _like a lover_. painted on his skin were warm words of love, of promises they knew would never come true. 

_my yongbok_.

his king cried on his body. 

_love me, my king._

what happiness more than love and be loved? 

  
  


* * *

  
  


he did not see of him the next morrow. 

_which way should i go, my beloved?_

  
  


* * *

  
  


the room, was not his. yongbok touched his lips. oh, how sweet his king was. they touched, over and over again, kissed, like lovers do. his confessions? he did not know how many left his mouth. 

but where was his king? taking his heart, did he leave? he laughed. his king left sweet kisses on his body, but never on his heart. 

_christopher_.

_leave the palace._

the royal butler snarled. 

_chri—_

_no one dares to utter the king's name._

yes, the heart hurt when it knew the truth. no one he was, after all, his king was never his. 

_leave_ . _the king's empress shall live here._

king of hearts. broken chandeliers. broken hearts, it was difficult to separate the glass and the heart. in the end, they all break, then my love, what use? what use to bear a heart when it breaks? 

broken promises. but alas, they were never made. yongbok laughed. _oh, my king. how cruel you are, my beloved king._

* * *

  
  


_let my lips touch yours, let me give my sin to you. will you share my sin?_

✦

**_he that covereth his sins shall not prosper_ **

**_but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them,_ **

**_shall have mercy._ **

**_proverbs 28:13_ **

✦

he woke up from the nightmares. dreams, but he did not desire them. _nightmares_. in the city of broken hearts, no one loved. he did not too. 

he was happy. _what was happiness?_ oh, what sins did he have to confess of when he had sinned of love? 

_your happiness, shall be mine too. yongbok_ swore. 

but love? he did not anymore. _lie_ . christopher asked him to lie. yes, he did not love anymore. he never loved. yongbok laughed. _lying, was easier._

  
  


* * *

  
  


no one knew the boundaries of the forest, the peasants did. but too scared they were to explore the unknown. yongbok was alone, he needed the silence to engulf him till he breathed of death. his king never kissed his heart, will death give him mercy? death's kiss.

* * *

the stale food of the slum market made him vomit. why did he not breathe of death? yet why not? 

_please have mercy. i do not wish to live. if not him, no one. i do not wish to live. please, be merciful._

but death was as ruthless, as his king. 

trembled in his sleep, the cold seeping through his decayed bones, he was too hurt to cover himself. if this was death, then may come death and kiss him, he shall embrace it. 

_yongbok_.

his vision like the morning fog, he did not see the face of the stranger who kissed his lips.

_kiss me not, beg for death, i do. oh my sweet man, please grant me death_. 

his tears weren't cold anymore, warm they were against his frosted cheeks. grant me death. 

_yongbok_. 

_please_. 

_yongbok_. 

no one knew his name but his king. voice broken, he sobbed like a fool. was love so undeniably wrong? was he a sinner to love his king? 

but christopher would never tend the wounds of a peasant. a runaway prisoner. 

_king, let my beloved king kill me with his own hands. please call the king. kill me. please._

  
✦

**_when im afraid, i put my trust in you._ ** ****

**_psalms 56:3_ **

✦

was he going insane? but his heart was tearing in his chest, he was burning. 

_yongbok_. 

the strands of his damp, sticky hair were woven aside, the stranger's touch familiar than his nightmares. 

_do not call me with the voice of my king. only my king_. breathing irregular, lack of air burnt his lungs but he couldn't stop crying. 

_do you love me yongbok?_ a kiss adorned the corner of his hazed vision. _do you love your king?_ a kiss to take away his tears. _say you love, yongbok._

_futile are the words of lov—_

_say you love me._

his frail body was shaken, the nauseating feeling overwhelmed him. 

_my beloved king._

his voice was his no more. it was drowsy of a man in love, insane from their lover's kiss.

a pair of arms. his king? they were embracing him like a lover, as if they were in love. 

_yongbok_. the kisses flowered his neck. 

the warmth? oh, what miracles the universe held. king of death, his king was embracing him. 

_let me die my king. love me for this fleeting second and kill me. loving you, yongbok shall die. yongbok shall always love you, like his first. yongbok has always loved you. kill me, my king._

fingers ran around his collarbone. 

_do not turn me into a fool, yongbok. this unfortunate king begs you._

the air turned heavy, his king's body was holding his. 

_tell my heart, yongbok. do you hear it beating, for you?_ _you have made him like this, you have turned the king into a fool. have mercy, do not trample over me anymore._

yongbok felt the salt on his lips as he smiled. he whispered in his ears, _then stop loving me. what use loving a man in his death bed? be merciful, my king, alleviate my pain. kill me._

christopher's lips were on his. a lover's kiss, a sinner's maybe. both did not regret of the sin. if love was a sin, then be it, but the king only fell in love more. his yongbok loved him, what meaning to breathe if he did not love back? 

_my yongbok. my beloved yongbok._

the corner of his lips were bruised from the countless kisses, he couldn't tell their breaths apart anymore. 

_kill me, my king._

christopher kissed him like the only rose in the mountains, like his lover. 

_then this king, shall die with you. no use living, if my reason is no more._ the king's lips caressed his forehead. _do you understand, yongbok? i have given you my heart, you have mercilessly stolen it._

lips to lips, but not kissing. it was as if his king was breathing his air and yongbok was his. as if he could feel his king in his veins, warm and loving his every decayed part.

_you ask for death?_

a shortness of breath, yongbok tilted a subtle yes. 

_then be it. if you die, this king writes his end too._

breathing was much harder now. 

_why? feelings not marbles, mercy my king, do not play with them._

the cloth undone, yongbok felt his heart kissed. but then, it stopped. 

_you, are the king of this vast nation_ . yongbok traced false promises over his shoulders. his king leaned in him. _with a wife, and descendants to carry forward your legacy_. 

_i do not dare, this mere peasant, to step in. i do not possess such greatness._

a silent pall before his lips. christopher captured them. 

_i do not ask for it._ the king bowed.

_the country does._

_they're not me._

_but they'll be the ones you rule, my king do not be foolish._

_you shall live in my private chambers._

_i do not wish to do so_ . _i do not wish to enter your palace to keep futile promises of love, or kisses you will only shower at night, of words that will only be said when no one hears. i yearn for them, but they hold me back. i shall not be there._

his king pressed their bodies like the parasites in his garden. things of beauty. were they of joy forever? then why his vision were darkened by unspeakable pain? 

_then why bother i live? you fail to understand my words, yongbok. i, the emperor of this nation, and the alone ruler of this country, have fallen in love, with you. you and none. only you trap my heart, only you take away my sleep, only you compel me to insanity. do i say more, my love?_

_you're cruel._

_i do not have a say._

yongbok fell in his arms, submitting. 

_then kiss me, my beloved king. kiss me, take away my breath, suck away my life and i shall live within you._

lips to lips. the king, was insane. 

* * *

the raindrops heavy on his chest. he was breathing. was his king breathing too? fingers to fingers they exchanged words, spoken not those words of love lest they vanish in the dreadful air of the town. 

_my king, oh my king._

night after night, his king came. like a lover's affair, his king came to his doorstep, not a day missed. tended his decaying body, reviving him every night. his nightmare? he took his nightmares away, the king's embrace spoke of dreams. for a fleeting night's love that wove dreams. just for his sleepless nights. 

his lashes felt heavy as sleep blossomed easy. no other man. or woman. he can love no other but the king. the king's touch, his voice, his breath, they overflowed in him. then how could he, a mere peasant, forget him? 

_touch my lips._ yongbok's soft whisper rang through the leaves of the frontyard shrubs. 

_my yongbok._ kissed all over his body, his king. 

_say you love me._ a selfish whisper, but granted it his king, only for his sleepless nights. 

_love, i do yongbok. only you. always you._

  
  


* * *

  
  


then the nights ended.

* * *

a royal marriage was a luxurious occasion. the palace wrapped up in gold, flakes and flowers, none could tell apart. but gold it was. 

the king was married. oh, how beautiful she was, the moon matching her smile, they were the chosen lovers of moon god. 

yongbok smiled. that was the choice of the moon. _their_ kisses were never in the moonlight, but the darkness their confidant. but she, they, were perfect, keeping the moon as their witness. their love, was maybe, beautiful. more beautiful than _their_ futile love. 

lips drew blood. he was happy. then why, foolish heart, why hurt, why indeed. 

yongbok smiled. his king did not find him in the forests again. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_yongbok_. 

a breathless whisper, and he startled awake in the familiar streets of homeless children. the fireflies welcomed his dark orbs. the corners of his eyes tasted salt. 

_oh, my king_ . scorched through his heart a plea, a pain he could not fathom. why, oh why the nightmares, are cruelly tangible, why my king? _tell me not words of love but of lie, and lie to me. only me._

yongbok's tears found his neck, how do you separate broken chandeliers and hearts? then, there was none. like dust in sandstorm, they vanished in his chest. who asked? lovers don't. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


the town physician—a generous man he called himself, diagnosed him ill, suffering from a deadly disease they said. _sinners are ought to be punished_ , they said. indeed, yongbok crushed his heart in pain, sinners get punished. 

the stale food, and starvation helped him. he asked for death, merciful they were. but almost not. 

death made him yearn for his kiss, but pull away when in his last breath. it came, but never to him. 

why create a heart when it was forbidden to love? why forbid it, why, a man was not capable of loving another man? love between a man and a woman was considered heavenly, what if when a man loved a man? why did they ask for hell? 

_then give me hell. heaven do i not ask for, give me hell. for hell is where i shall breathe._

  
  


* * *

  
  


the king's fingers strangled in his queen's locks. she was beautiful.

but why dear lord, yongbok was it who haunted his heart? _why?_ his eyes that followed his touches like an untamed cat, he shrank away whenever they touched, but he gave way the coming minutes. why was it, that when his eyes rake over his queen's torso, yongbok's lean, sickened body burnt through his heart? 

the heart screamed his name, but no one did hear. 

_yongbok_. he breathed in her cheeks, his name trapped in his hollow cheeks. she smiled at him. 

_yongbok_. he kissed her neck. 

_yongbok_. he kissed her like the water lilies in his fountain. lilies that his yongbok loved. 

_yongbok, my yongbok. how foolishly this king loves you._

the night never ended. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


_yongbok_. 

his eyes open tiredly, he needed it to stop soon—his heart. he needed to stop breathing. 

but the kisses on his neck, as if a warrior, was fighting off death. 

_my beloved king._

tears came abundant to him, they drowned him. but they were kissed away. not a drop fell, but kissed away by his king. sweetly, he loved him. 

_tell my heart, yongbok. it loves you. it weeps insane for your touch, for your words of love. tell my heart you love it._

  
✦

**_my beloved is mine,_ **

**_and i am his._ **

**_song of solomon 2:16_ **

✦  
  


 _alas my king_ , 

the night owl hooted on the broken rooftop.

_this foolish man, this foolish heart yearns for you._

  
  


* * *

the stranger's footsteps adorned his nights. 

_my king._

embracing him like his only living concern, the king kissed his body. 

_why is it that a man when loves a man has to choose hell?_

yongbok's tears were his beauty. 

_the name you have given it_ . _hell is where lovers go. lovers who love. lovers like us, where our story never had an end._

the king was silent as the dried out leaves whispered sweet nothings through the night air. 

_love me, and that is all i ask for. they do not know of our love, my beloved yongbok._

he kissed away his tears. 

_kiss mine lips, scream for your love do they, my king._

the moon didn't find their languid bodies entwined. the darkness in their world was too bright to let way. 

the last night of winter was over as soon as it started. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


> **_the night circus._ **

the town people ate up the acts. 

_elephant play. riders. the jokers. contortionist. magicians._ the circus had them all. its black laces bloomed throughout the whole town. 

_felix._

their ace player. 

one foot on the rope dangling in the midst of nowhere, and the other foot in air, he looked like an angel adorned with heaven's blessings. but did the town people see that? did they not. but loved him they nonetheless. 

stars he had underneath his hazel orbs, tattooed hastily. the men presented him with roses, confessing their undying love for him, which was, their overwhelming lust towards beautiful things. the women, a few, wanted to taint him. nor once did felix pay any heed. 

an untouchable wonder, as beautiful as the forbidden fruit. fill your eyes, but touch you can not. 

the words reached the queen. ecstated she was, ordering her thousand maids to prepare the carriage–she would see him herself. and maybe, if he matched her tastes, he would get a place in the palace. as one of her ninety nine toys. 

* * *

  
  


_what have left, is this body of mine, burn them, the scars you leave._

sleep unknown to the king, never welcomed him at its palace. the king was pale, eyes wide from lost sleep of a month.

_yongbok._

but the name rolled on his tongue like a luxury, alas yongbok not in his dungeons anymore. 

✦

**_but i found him,_ **

**_whom my soul loveth._ **

**_song of solomon 3:4_ **

✦

_yongbok._

the heart a fragile thing, it called for love. gives who? 

his queen asked for love. but he wasn't a lover, he never have given love, he who carved yongbok's name in his body, how could he love? 

he knew, how the queen leeched off him. but care, he did not. his body was burning for being not touched by his beloved, then care for what else could he? words they said, his people, his courtiers, his queen. none, reached him. _merely, they were not yongbok_. 

_yongbok. come in my dreams, and kiss me to sleep. if not you, not anyone._

but sleep did not come, nor did he. 

* * *

his body was shaken, his lashes felt heavy over his cheeks. familiar gold of the palace, the scent of the royal clothes heavy on air and the palace wine. the chandeliers that told his heart, they were all too familiar. startled, he woke up but was pulled back in a second. 

_chained up._

blood ran cold. 

_not again._

but it wasn't the cold, stoned floor of the dungeons. the room was huge, larger than any he had seen. drapes of silk, coloured his vision. the blue over his legs, and the red on his body. diamonds, they adorned him. his whole body, naked, only the silk flowing over him like a refuge. 

his king never dressed him like that. like….. _an object to be consumed._

he remembered drinking the cheap town soju that his circus partner offered. maybe it was a little too sweet. a sweet little lure, it was. 

the door creaked. a woman, probably the palace maid. and, _the queen_. he knew her face. he knew how beautiful her curls were, how long her lashes went before they disappeared above her ocean blue orbs. 

_the queen?_

he felt like a fish without water. his lungs breathed in but not a trace of air. suffocated, like in flames, the dark smokes choked him. 

_beautiful._

her eyes gleamed under the chandelier's kiss. 

_your skin, white like the mountain snow, would you let your queen expose you?_

his throat was bitter, the bile was coming up.

_felix, was it?_

he looked away, betraying her probing eyes.

_look at your queen._

yongbok never listened. 

_dare you disobey your queen?_

how could he when his heart yearned for his king? oh, how the universe played with them, it was almost laughable. 

_i shall not repeat again. peasant, look at me. this is an order._

the queen's voice was harsh, colder than the snow she compared him to. 

deaf to her words, he was. 

_a mere player on the streets, and you have it in your heart to disobey this empire's queen? i'm absolutely stunned. men like you should spread their legs when they're asked. i do not offer a choice._

he wanted to laugh. _spread their legs?_ was that all he was? was that all his existence offered? to offer their body? he offered his body, but to his beloved king, no one touched an inch of him. 

_take him to the king's private chambers. i shall ask him to punish this man for his sins._

he begged for death, but death as his king, was merciless.

* * *

he remembered. the sweet smell, the chandelier that did not light up the whole room. the memories rolled his cheeks, the place where his king first brushed away his tears, he remembered. 

_oh, my beloved._ the words suppressed in his mouth, a hand clenched over his heart. 

_i shall see my emperor ruin you. you who dares to go against the queen._

blood ran cold, as he looked around, eyes in search of him, his king. 

the door did open, but did it not reveal his lover, but men instead, men he did not know of. 

_but first,_ the queen's voice was sweet in his ears, like a snake lulling it's host to a peaceful slumber. _they shall take you apart, your body, taint you, for the king to devour you._

hell, the name that the town had given. he knew now, what it was, oh how merciless death was. tainted they, his body, with their sins of immoral lust, pain was all his heart believed to feel.

_oh, beg you my queen, do not taint me._

but her sweet touch of pain was all he received.

marks on his neck, on his chest, in his most private parts, that resembled the darkness of the moonless night, pained from the absence of the light of this world. who sinned, and who was punished? was this the will of the universe? 

* * *

  
  


four days. neither did his king come, nor did death, both as merciless. 

they touched him. consumed him, every day, every second, his lungs burnt from poison. who saves? maybe fate it was, for peasants like him. after all, body was it all he had, and for offerings it meant to be. 

✦

**_for the wages of sin is death,_ **

**_romans 6:23_ **

✦

sinned, he has, and them too. then, _let my king live. beg for death is i, alone man._

he was the flower of winter, pale and beautiful, but alas, long life was not it's fate. 

* * *

the door opened, yet again.

he lied in all his nakedness on the floor, the crimson silk torn over his. 

_indulge yourself, what i prepared is for your to see and devour. sin, with me._

he did not meet his eyes. was this death? 

✦

**_the last enemy that shall be abolished is death._ **

**_corinthians 15:26_ **

✦

_what sinned have i, my king?_

pain sneaked out through the lashes of his empty orbs in tears, who noticed? no one did. because a sinner, he was. and death was his salvation. 

he said, _in your hands i shall die. what happiness more than your lover's hands? a kiss of your last touch is all, this man asks._

their love, what was so wrong, that so painfully abominable? 

_i begged for death, my king. i begged for mercy. my body, is no longer yours, they tainted me, your men. i do not wish for your touch. you shall not touch me._

_yongbok._

affliction that consumed the king, an utterly devastating pain that consumed his body, as he fell to the ground, paler than a man in his deathbed. 

_you have been touched._

the palace walls were thin, but hear they not the heart of glass shatter. 

_yes, my king. oh, my king i have been sullied, defiled, i no longer remain just yours._

  
✦

**_if a man lies with a male as with a woman,_ **

**_both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death;_ **

**_their blood is upon them._ **

**_leviticus 20:13_ **

✦  
  


_so put me to death, my king, my beloved, and let me sleep in your hands._

in the king's lap, he was embraced, as if promising eternity, as if their love untouched by scars of immorality. as if they were just them, no queen, no men, just yongbok, abd his king. people who loved each other. 

_let me love. all i have, you are. those lips of yours, they kiss me dreams. those eyes, they tell me love. and yongbok, your heart claims me. who shall i be, so powerful–yet so nothing, to refuse it?_

  
✦

**_and though i have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge and though i have all faith, so that i could remove_ ** **_mountains but do not have love, i am nothing._ **

**_corinthians 13:2_ **

✦  
  


 _in another life, my love, we shall meet and let's love. love like this, your breath shall be mine._ kissed away his pain, his king. 

_let your name be on my tongue and mine on yours, and let us be together. my king, let your name be mine and mine yours._

because the moon never light the love of their, because they, were not the chosen ones. 

_yongbok._

king of hearts he was no more, but king nonetheless, _his only and only his._

_christopher._

how to separate broken hearts and broken chandeliers? deep the royal sword went, heart to heart, bodies to bodies, lips to lips. the silk that was marred on his body now tied hastily around the emperor's neck and yongbok's body within his golden robes, the pearls fallen scattered on his body. 

painted the golden sword, the royal blood, and that of a peasant, oh so different, but lovers nevertheless. 

_let our sin, be ours._

  
✦

**_above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins._ **

**_peter 4:8_ **

✦  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> im so SO sorry my heart still hurt from this weird plot, and i can't shake off this pain and yes, suffer with me too ㅠㅠ  
> also note, there are probably A LOT of typos I'll have to proofread all over again :"(


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